Birchbox June 2014 Review: "Away We Go"

So for some reason, despite the fact that this is my very first Birchbox ever, I failed to do any good documentation of it before using up the contents of half of the items. I did manage to snap just a couple of poorly-lit photos before deciding to procrastinate, so there's that, at least. For informational purposes: much like my Ipsy subscription, Birchbox is a monthly shipment of 4-6 makeup, skincare, and haircare samples that costs me $10. Birchbox, however, apparently tends to include smaller samples from higher-quality brands, where Ipsy tends to send out larger or full-sized samples from lower-end brands. It seems to me that there might be a place in my life for both subscription services, so I'm going to give Birchbox a few months and see what I think.

Here be Birchbox.

Before we delve into the contents, I do have to say that I hate how wasteful Birchbox's packaging is. The goodies arrive in this perfectly serviceable box... which is packaged inside ANOTHER box. Come on now.

Because I neglected to take photos of the individual items as I usually do, you're just going to have to follow along in the above picture... I trust that you can figure out which item is which. On to the reviews!

• Davines Love Smoothing Shampoo (sample bottle, valued at  $7.50) and Smoothing Conditioner (foil packet, valued at $1.40): First, let me address the good about these samples... the shampoo is a very nice size. It annoys me when a sample is too small to see how the product performs over a little time, and the shampoo bottle definitely has a good amount of uses in it. Unfortunately, I can't say the same of the accompanying conditioner, which came in a dinky foil packet from which I was able to get approximately 1.5 uses. The scent is extremely off-putting to me; it smells a LOT like the foaming tub cleaner I use, and that's definitely not something I want wafting off my head. And despite the fact that these products are billed as being for dry and frizzy hair, I found that my already-dry hair felt noticeably more straw-like after using them. To be fair, I continued using the shampoo after the conditioner ran out, and it cleans my hair acceptably, but I'm following it up with my usual conditioner, so I can't speak to its solo smoothing performance.

• Davines OI All in One Milk (foil packet, valued at $0.83): I just don't have anything good to say about this item, y'all. Foil packets are always disappointing, although to be fair, this one had a solid few uses in it. I just find it unsanitary to keep an open foil packet for multiple uses... give me something I can re-seal, dang it! Scent: although this doesn't have the same tub-cleaner smell of the previously-mentioned Davines products, it's still not a scent that I like at all. And of course, there's the performance... or lack thereof. I didn't notice any improvement in my hair's texture after using this, although at least it didn't weigh my hair down or make it look oily like this type of product often does on me.

• Suki Exfoliate Foaming Cleanser (sample jar, valued at $1.65): Face wash is not something that I normally spend money on, because it's literally on your face for ten seconds and then rinsed away. I put the big bucks toward the moisturizers and whatnot, because they're actually on your face for the long haul. I'm not sure that any product will ever change my thinking on that... but this one comes pretty damn close! Actually, if not for the hefty price tag, I probably would have ordered a full size of this already. For some reason I've been grooving hard on lemon-scented things lately, and this has a lovely lemongrass scent. (I do have to say that I wasn't completely impressed by the exfoliation, but I think that's probably because I was using tiny amounts to make the sample last longer.)

• LAQA & Co. Sheer Lip Lube Pencil in "Bee's Knees" (sample size, valued at $9): First of all, did they really need to put "lube" in the name? There's no situation in which that word doesn't conjure up icky connotations, not even taking a car to Jiffy Lube. But I digress. I'm not sure what I think of this product, but I can't swear that my issues with it aren't just a function of the color being too light for me. I love a good coral lip, but this shows up as a pale peach on me. It's lighter than both my natural lip color and my skin tone, which is not a good look. And I feel like it settles into and accentuates the lines in my lips, but that might not be an issue if the color didn't already look so jarring on me. It's got a pleasant minty scent and a bit of a tingle, which I like, and it feels like a lip balm. I actually wish I'd gotten the purplish shade that some other subscribers received... and I may still have a chance at one, because I will be receiving another one of these from Birchbox. You see, this one arrived with most of the product broken off and stuck up inside the cap, so I sent an email and a picture to Birchbox's customer care, and promptly received a reply promising a replacement item. Good service!

•  Harvey Prince "Hello" Perfume (sample vial, valued at $1): Ugh, perfume. I am NOT a fan of perfume samples, because for some reason most perfumes tend to react badly with my body chemistry. I've found a couple that work for me, and I don't stray often. This one, while pleasant-smelling enough, is not going to make it into my rotation... too floral for me. (I'm not a connoisseur who can pick out the individual components of a scent, so I'll raid Birchbox's description for the specifics: Meyer lemon, Satsuma mandarin, summer forsythia, and pink plumeria.) 

•  Egyptian Magic Skin Cream (sample jar, valued at $2.37): Magic? That's big talk. For me, the jury's still out on this product's magical powers. It's all-natural, which I guess is nice, and reminds me very much of the coconut oil I use on my hair (solid at room temperature, melts down on contact with body heat). It's unscented, which I actually don't love, but hey, at least it's not a scent I dislike. I'm throwing this little guy into my purse for use on my dry hands and rough cuticles, so we'll see about this "magic" business.

(I also received a bonus item, I guess as a welcome gift? Anyway, it's a sample tube of Cynthia Rowley Beauty Creamy Lip Stain in "Sugar," which is a nudey-rose shade that bores the crap out of me. This one's staying sealed and going off to the ol' trade list.)

So, my first Birchbox. I actually didn't realize how completely underwhelming it was until I started writing this review! From a dollar standpoint, everything (sans the extra lip product) adds up to $23.75. This is a lower value than I'm used to from Ipsy, where the tally is generally closer to $40. Still, an acceptable numeric return on my $10 investment... plus, what Birchbox lacks in up-front value, it makes up for with its points system! For every item I receive and review on the website, I get ten points, which basically equates to a dollar to spend in the Birchbox shop. So this month, for example, I received seven items that were eligible for review points, which adds up to $7 I can eventually spend in the shop! Birchbox's shop includes all kinds of items, from cosmetics to home decor, and includes popular brands like Benefit as well as highly-rated Birchbox exclusives like Beauty Protector. In addition to review points, subscribers get a point for every dollar spent on products in the shop, so I can see how points could add up quickly. We shall see, over a few months, if the points system helps to balance out underwhelming boxes like this one.

If you feel compelled to join Birchbox after reading this review, please feel free to clicky-clicky here to sign up using my referral link. (Another way to get those wonderful points!)

The Thursday Three: Lip Balm Edition

So I'm thinking that if I include more weekly features on this blog, it will force me to start posting more regularly. In that vein, I'm introducing "The Thursday Three," a weekly round-up of three... somethings. Really, this will encompass pretty much anything that I can neatly corral into sets of three, probably with a focus on my favorites in any given category. I think I can stick with this, because at the very least, I can surely come up with a weekly list of three items even if I don't elaborate about them at length, right?

For this first Thursday Three, we're going to delve into my plethora of lip balms. Lip balm is one product that I can't function without, and I feel like I'm constantly on the prowl for my "holy grail" product. My lips tend to chap, especially in the winter, and I  can't stand the feeling or the look of dry, icky lips. At any given time, I've probably got at least five lip balms in rotation between my makeup drawer, my purse, and work. Minimum. Along the way, I've stumbled across a few products that really made me happy, so I'm sharing them with you!

 #3. Hawaiian Tropic SPF 45+ Tropical Lip Balm ($2.49)

I stumbled across this drugstore gem while on vacation in Florida, and I just adore it. It's the most "traditional" balm of the bunch, a twist-up solid stick, nothing special about the packaging. This balm's got a couple of things going for it that distinguish it from the glut of similar stick balms, though... first, the high SPF, which I dig. You see, not only do I want to protect my lips from the sun, I also have a relatively recent and large scar on my left leg that requires extra sun protection if I want it to fade as much as possible over time. So because I am kind of tacky, I have been known to use this product on my scar too; I feel like it's more effective than traditional sunscreen because the waxiness of it clings to the scar area longer, especially on the beach or in the water!

The other thing that I really love about this lip balm is the FLAVOR. It smells like the most delicious tropical sunscreen, which alone would have made me like it, but it also tastes amazing... like a fruity, delicious piña colada or some other tropical drink that would come with a little paper umbrella. The flavor lasts a good while, too, unlike a lot of products that lose their flavor rapidly after application. As far as moisturizing my lips, it does a perfectly fine job; I mean, I don't feel like angels are dancing on my lips or anything, but it's more than adequate in the dryness-prevention department. The only complaint I have about this product is that it's hard to find in stores here in my landlocked state... so I stocked up when I went back to the beach a few months later! (It's readily available online, though, and I'm just a brat about paying shipping charges.) 

#2. Malin+Goetz Mojito Lip Balm ($12.00)

I received this item back in my January Ipsy bag, which was full of skincare products that I thought would be totally boring. Boy, was I wrong! I ended up really digging the contents of that bag, especially this lip balm! The squeezy tube is super-nondescript, although I grudgingly guess I get the hipster vibe they're going for with the design. To my eye, though, it just looks medicinal, like a tube of antibiotic ointment... not like something epic to put on your face, which is what it actually is. I also hate that the application surface is a flat top instead of a more lip-friendly angled or rounded one, but honestly, I usually end up applying with my finger anyway.

Once opened, the product itself also looks pretty underwhelming at first glance: a clear, kind of thin-seeming gel formula. Don't be fooled, though, because it turns into moisturizing awesomeness on the lips. It leaves a nice little hint of shine and lasts a really long time. The only reason this lip balm isn't at the top of the list: the flavor (or lack thereof). It's perfectly fine, but it's just a very subtle and short-lived hint of mint, with none of the lime tartness that I'd expect from something named "mojito." Step up the flavor game, Malin+Goetz, and I'll de-throne my current #1 for you.

 #1. TokyoMilk Dark Lip Elixir in #36 Salted Caramel ($7.00)

 

I've actually already reviewed this delightful product once on this blog, but it more than deserves another shout-out, because it's earned the top spot on my list and in my makeup bag. I don't want to repeat myself ad nauseum, so you can clicky-clicky here to read that full review, or you can just stick around and roll with my CliffsNotes. Pros: ginormous size for the very reasonable price, smells and tastes like orgasmic syrupy waffle-y deliciousness, moisturizing as all get-out, swanky packaging. Cons: um, the tin can be a little hard to open sometimes? Recommendation: GET SOME, and check out TokyoMilk's other flavors while you're at it.

So there you have it, folks: my first Thursday Three. If you're actually a real, live human being who is actually reading my blog, please leave me a little feedback or a suggestion on what categories you might like to see me tackle. I'd welcome the challenge (and the confirmation that someone actually sees this crap I write)!

May 2014 Ipsy Bag Review: "Fresh Picks"

Another month, another Ipsy bag in my mailbox. But wait! This month, there were actually two bags in my mailbox. That's right... since Ipsy bags contain 4-5 items out of a larger array of possible products (26 items total for May), and since I have tended not to receive the items I wanted the most in past months, I decided to sign up for a second bag in hopes of receiving a wider variety of the available items. A little over-the-top? Perhaps. But better for you, dear reader? Again, perhaps... but not so much for this month, because I ended up getting multiple duplicate items. Le sigh.

Bag #1, in which I blow your mind with my amazing powers of camouflage.

So since I recently discovered the joy of using my stash of craft papers as backdrops for my photos, I was happy to dig this print up. But then I discovered its fatal flaw... it goes so well with May's "Fresh Picks" vine-printed bag that the bag is practically invisible! It amuses me, though, to make you play a wee bit of "Find the Bag." It's there, I promise. (Side note: I just noticed that this also flows nicely with my blog's background. Mind = blown.)

Okay, fine. Here's the bag.

The bag itself, as per usual, earned mixed reactions from me; I like the print, minus the standard "ipsy" logo incorporated into it, but was disappointed that the print is only on one side. The bag is made from a nubby burlap sort of fabric, which is a refreshing change... but I could see it getting stained up very easily.

Bag #2's contents, duplicates and all.

 Before I delve into reviewing the products, I'd like to take a moment to raise a little hell about Ipsy's shipping. It's included in the $10 price, which yay, but they ship via DHL, which I have discovered is the CRAPPIEST SHIPPING SERVICE EVER. It is so appallingly slow that I almost wish they didn't send tracking numbers, because it's excruciating to watch my packages travel to Georgia only to languish there for days, then get stuck in Hebron, Kentucky, for another ridiculously excessive amount of time before finally being transferred to the USPS and reaching me in Louisville. And then this month! Two Ipsy bags, both shipped at the same time, traveled together all the way to Hebron, but then were transferred to the USPS three days apart! To be fair, in this case, it was actually kind of nice to get my little treats on two different days instead of all at once, but still. How does that make any sense? I wish Ipsy would switch to a more reliable shipping service.

Anyway, let's get on to the important stuff, shall we? I'll admit that I wasn't looking particularly forward to either of my bags, and in fact was having a little buyer's remorse about signing up for that second bag, because I didn't find any of the available options terribly exciting. As with January's Ipsy bag, this month's selections were very skincare-heavy, which isn't nearly as fun as getting pretty colored things. The only item I really wanted from Ipsy's sneak peeks was a Too Faced bronzer, and clearly that's not in either of the above photos. Boo. Hiss. And then when I saw I'd be receiving duplicates of three items, the bloom was definitely off the rose. As usual, though, at least one item pulled through to make my subscription worthwhile!

In both bags, I found:

• Jersey Shore Sun Sans Tan Anti-Aging Sunscreen with SPF 35 (deluxe sample, valued at $10.00): So sunscreen is always a good thing in my book, because I am a grown-up who does grown-up things like putting on high SPF (usually) and not using SPF 2 oil (anymore). I wasn't particularly enthused about getting these small sample sizes, because I am of the "slather it on and re-apply often" school of thought, so this tiny tube would probably not last a day with me. I also found the price off-putting, because I am not opposed to buying the industrial-sized vat of No-Ad, and I consider buying Hawaiian Tropic for the smell to be a "splurge" in the realm of sunscreen. So, unless Jersey Shore Sun's SPF is SPF-ier than any other SPF, I see no reason to spend that much money on something people won't even be able to see on me. Except... THEY CAN SEE IT ON ME. The bottle says "Pure White Mineral Sunscreen" as though that's a good thing, but it left an unappealing pallor on my skin (see ghost wrist below), which I'm pretty sure was not the goal. I was able to dissipate the white sheen with a crap-ton of rubbing, but frankly, that makes me worry that it has to be spread too thinly in order to disappear on me. No thanks. I'll pass these along to one of my fair-skinned friends, and go back to soaking in the No-Ad.

 

•  Pacifica Mineral Eyeshadow Duo in "Duo 1" (valued at $4.45): These duos appear to be exclusive to Ipsy, since Pacifica's eyeshadows are currently all in quad form, so I calculated the value based on shadow weight. Two color options were available, and I was really hoping to get one of each, so of course I got two of the same one. Oh well, off to my little sale/trade box with one of them! I wasn't expecting much from these shadows, because the colors looked pretty bland in photos, but I was pleasantly surprised by how much better they are in person. The golden shade, "Celestial," is a nice "my eyelids but shimmery" color that will come in handy for neutral but pretty work makeup, and the other shade, "Opal," looks like a blah pale beige in the pan but applies with a pretty pink sheen... opalescent, if you will, so I guess it's not just a clever name. Opal is a little powdery, but not too bad. The main issue I had with this product is the cheapness of the compact; upon opening it, the lid popped right off when I pushed it just a little further back than vertical. It didn't break, so I was able to snap it right back on, but still. A little dinky, Pacifica, especially when I'm used to your products having impeccably beautiful packaging. I doubt I'll buy these in the future, only because I already have plenty of eyeshadows and some higher-quality neutrals in the same vein, but I wouldn't throw them out of bed either. I will, however, most likely use the Pacifica promo code to buy more completely unneeded smelly-goods, at which Pacifica absolutely excels.

 

•   Hey Honey Take It Off! Exfoliating Peel-Off Mask (deluxe sample, valued at $7.00): This may sound ageist or something, but I'm generally not a fan of peel-off masks, because they just seem juvenile to me... something I used as a pre-teen because they were fun to try to peel off in big pieces, not something I'd choose to use as an adult. That's probably silly of me, but it's just how I roll. Also, this is another sample that I think is too small. I'm not trying to whine, but in terms of skincare products, I feel like a sample should be large enough for multiple uses in order to see how it performs on one's skin over time. I'll be lucky to get two full uses out of one tube. This sample is so small that there wasn't even room on the back to print instructions... instead, it directs users to the Hey Honey website. Funny. Anyway, this mask is a chemical exfoliant featuring alpha hydroxy acid... and upon reviewing said instructions, I have to say I found it odd that users are supposed to put moisturizer on *before* applying the mask. Call me crazy, but it seems to me that treatments like this would work better on a clean face, so I found myself worried that the AHA was going to burn like a mofo. Anyway, it's a thick, clear gel that goes on without much of a noticeable scent at all. Slathered it on... waited... and peeled. Amazingly, unlike the peel-off masks of my youth, this one came off in more or less one giant piece, leaving only a few little scraps that had to be cleaned up. (And some of that was user error... stupid eyebrows getting in the way.) Followed up with some moisturizer, and my skin did feel tightened and a little refreshed, although no visible difference. Since I've got two tubes, that should equal four to maybe five uses, but I doubt I'll re-buy after that unless my skin suddenly starts absolutely glowing, because I'm generally happy with the physical exfoliants I currently use.

"Don't call me honey, honey!"  -Pierce Hawthorne

 Okay, enough with the duplicate items! Hopefully next month, I'll get a better variety of products. When signing up for Ipsy, you fill out a quiz about your beauty habits and preferences, so I've gone back and tried to make sure that there's no overlap between my quiz answers for the two subscriptions. Fingers crossed... but if my bags are dupe-y again, I'll be canceling the second one. Now, let's move on to the items that were unique to each bag.

• Pur-lisse Pur-Moist Hydra-Balance Moisturizer (deluxe sample, valued at $16.18): While 20-something me would have scoffed at the high price of this moisturizer, then maybe slapped some random body lotion on my face if it felt particularly itchy, 30-something me has become completely okay with the concept of spending exorbitant amounts of money on skincare. I'm very accustomed to people guessing that I'm somewhere in my 20s and being shocked when I reveal my age, and I want to keep it that way as long as possible. I'm not going to pop the seal on this sample yet, because I JUST cracked open some expensive-ass creams from Skyn Iceland that I bought myself as one of my rewards for quitting smoking, so I'm going to keep this little guy to try the next time I'm traveling.

I hate the lower-case affectation. Capitals are your friend!

• Avene Thermal Spring Water (deluxe sample, valued at $9.00): My first reaction to this: "WATER IN A CAN? You have GOT to be shitting me." I know I used this reference in a past Ipsy review, but to me, this product is really like "The Emperor's New Clothes," in that I picture an Avene executive saying, "But if we put FRENCH on the label and call it something fancy like THERMAL, nobody will notice that we just put WATER IN A CAN!" And then all the Avene test subjects start spraying themselves, trying not to choke as they accidentally inhale water vapor, and oohing and aahing over the restorative magic of Frenchie spring eau thermale. Although I'll certainly never buy this, it will get used... I am saving this bottle for the next particularly hot day that I have to spend outside for some reason. I'm sure it will be refreshing when I'm roasty-toasty at the beach or an outdoor concert or something. I mean, it's water. (In a can.)

Water. In a can.

• Eva NYC Therapy Session Hair Mask (travel size, valued at $12.00... or less): Beware, faint praise and a bust ahead! I have absolutely nothing bad to say about this product, quality-wise, but nothing particularly good either. It conditioned my hair about the same as my usual conditioner, so I certainly wouldn't say that it's restorative enough to be called something snazzy like a "hair mask." It smells okay, nothing mind-blowing, but not unpleasant. I would certainly never pay the $40 price on Eva NYC's website... which, amusingly enough, appears to be a mark-up by Eva NYC to compensate for the 65% off promo code offered to Ipsy subscribers. For comparison, here is the same product regularly priced at $14.99 at Ulta, and $15.99 at Walgreens. So basically, I can buy the full-sized product at one of those locations for almost the same price that Eva NYC has listed for this travel-sized bottle. Ridiculous.

 

• Derma E Microdermabrasion Scrub (deluxe sample, valued at $16.25): I saved the best for last... I almost decided not to keep this, since I have zero problem with whipping up my own sugar scrubs, but then I sniffed it and found myself in love with the scent. It's a beautiful bright lemony aroma, no artificial Pledge lemon smell here! So I figured I'd keep it and see if there was really anything to the whole "micro" part of "microdermabrasion." As it turns out, I may have been missing out all that time I was making my own scrubs! The exfoliating grains in this scrub are super-fine and don't feel nearly as abrasive as my sugar, but my face still feels just as smooth afterward. My only nitpick? The label on the jar is wrinkled in a couple of places, as you can see below. If I'm going to spend $30 on a product, I think it should at least look like it was packaged with care, and since this sample is actually half the amount of product put into a full-sized jar, the wonky label bothers me. Still, this is something that I might actually purchase once I run out... which won't be too awfully soon, because the sample size is pretty generous, and a little goes a long way.

Label wrinkles = OCD tweaked.

Overall, I was not terribly happy with this month's Ipsy offerings. The return on my $20 investment was good from a price-only standpoint; Bag #1 rang in at $51.70, and Bag #2 at $46.63, for a total of $98.33. However, the value plummets if we look at the Ulta/Walgreens vs. inflated Eva NYC price for the hair mask. And then let's break that down to the value of the products I'll actually use.... and at least two of those are products I would absolutely not buy again (the Avene and the Eva NYC), and I probably won't wind up buying the Hey Honey or the Pur-lisse (unless either one surprises me and blows my mind, I'll keep using scrubs and will remain Skyn Iceland's bitch). So the actual value for me is pretty low this month, but I'm still happy enough with a couple of the items that I'm not left shaking my fist angrily and cursing Ipsy's name. I'm already looking forward to June; since this month was so skincare-heavy, I'm hoping for a return to lots of fun makeup next month!

If my less-than-glowing review has somehow left you chomping at the bit to try Ipsy for yourself, please feel free to clicky-clicky here to sign up using my referral link. (As always, a disclaimer: I get points if you use my link, which I can redeem for products, but I would not share my link if I did not find Ipsy entirely worthwhile.)

April 2014 Ipsy Bag Review: "Beauty Rocks"

It's that time again... another Ipsy bag, another review from yours truly. If you don't know (or forgot), Ipsy is a cosmetics sampling program. For $10 a month, subscribers receive a makeup bag with four to five deluxe samples or full-size items. It's a fun little monthly treat, and I've discovered some new favorites through my subscription.

In which I attempt to not just show you the items standing in front of the bag.

 The April theme was "Beauty Rocks," which is apparently an attempt at some tenuous connection between makeup and the upcoming music festival season. Whatever. The bag itself actually had the potential to be kind of great this month... I love the deep purple color and the large square size, and the vintage-y record image is kind of groovy. But then you look at the record label, and there's that stupid-ass "Beauty Rocks" tagline. Cheeses it right up. If I cared a little more about the bag, I'd pull out some craft supplies and figure out a way to cover it over by snazzing up the label section... but I don't care that much. I'll still use it.

Aaaand here are the items standing in front of the bag.

On to the contents:

• Urban Decay 24/7 Velvet Glide-On Eye Pencil in "Black Velvet" ("travel size" item, valued at $15): I was pretty happy to receive this product, because it seems that the Urban Decay pencils are the Holy Grails of eyeliners for a lot of people. My expectations were high after hearing all the praise... too high, as it turns out. I think the problem may be that this is a new product that is meant to be smudged for a "smokey eye" effect, and I prefer a nice defined line from my liners, so the joy of the smudginess is lost on me. My liner also seemed rather dry, and I did notice quite a few specks of fall-out under my eyes after only a couple of hours of wear. On the bright side, I contacted Ipsy's customer service to comment about the pencil being dry, and they are sending me a replacement item. Hopefully it will perform better, because I had high hopes for this little guy.

• City Color White Gold Shadow & Highlight Mousse (full size item, valued at $3.99): Don't let the cheap-o price tag fool you, friends... this little container is by far the best thing I received this month! This creamy mousse goes on smoothly and blends out beautifully, adding a white gold (for lack of a better description... guess it's not just a clever name) shine wherever it's applied. I love that it's definitely a fine shimmer, not a glitter bomb, because I'm past the age where it's suitable to load my face up with glitter. I find that it's not great as a cheek highlight for me, because there is just the slightest tinge of a greenish cast to the color at some angles, but I am loving using it on my eyes. The container is tiny, but don't let the size put you off, because a little goes a LONG way. This product is exactly why I signed up for Ipsy: to discover new things that I would never have stumbled across or thought to try otherwise. I know that some people are disappointed by not getting samples of more high-end makeup brands from Ipsy, but between this and the also-dirt-cheap Be Matte blushes I ordered a while back, City Color is fast becoming one of my favorite makeup lines. For me it's not about the price tag or the prestige of a label, it's about how the product works for me, and this WORKS.

For scale, that cap is about the size of a half-dollar.

• Cailyn Tinted Lip Balm in "Acid Pink" (full size item, valued at $19): In the interest of full disclosure, I actually received the shade "Apple Pink" in my bag, but I really liked the look of the Acid Pink, so I arranged a swap. I shouldn't have bothered. Calling this product a "balm" reminds me of "The Emperor's New Clothes," in that I picture a Cailyn staff meeting wherein not a single employee has the nerve to point out to the boss that this product is THE MOST DRYING LIP PRODUCT ON THE PLANET. It feels unpleasant on, and if your lips aren't in tip-top shape before application, this product will highlight every last bit of dryness and chapping. In addition, the packaging is kind of ridiculous and unwieldy; there is a lip brush built into the cap, so when you take apart the lid to get at the brush, you're left wrangling three separate parts. No bueno if you're trying to apply on the fly. I suppose if I were a "display my makeup on the vanity" kind of girl, this might have some sort of visual appeal, but for practical purposes, it doesn't seem like it would travel well at all. As for the color, it's bright as hell, but what can you expect from something called "Acid Pink," right? The opacity and matte finish of this product combine to make it too obnoxious for my liking... one day when I'm extra-bored, I will probably try melting it down and mixing in some actual lip balm to see if I can Frankenstein a more sheer, pleasant-to-wear gloss. The good news is that I will have plenty of room in the container to add in another balm, because the container comes mostly empty. (Can you tell I'm not a fan of this product?)

Two thumbs down. Way down.

• Dr. Brandt Microdermabrasion Skin Exfoliant (deluxe sample, valued at $9.75): I had zero desire to try a product that costs $40 an ounce to do the same job as something I can whip up in my kitchen (sugar + olive or coconut oil = exfoliation on the cheap that doesn't taste nasty when you accidentally get some in your mouth), but this was apparently a pretty in-demand item in the Ipsy crowd, so I traded it away for some other non-Ipsy goodies.

• Sexy Hair Root Pump Volumizing Spray Mousse (mini item, valued at $6): I actually already had a can of this. In my bathroom closet. Way in the back, in a dark corner on a low shelf that holds all the nearly-full products that just didn't work for me, but that I feel too guilty just throwing away.

White Gold blended out, not blended out, and you can figure out the other two.

 So the overall value of this month's bag rings up at $53.74... again, none too shabby a return on my $10 investment from a numeric standpoint, but I wound up kind of underwhelmed with the actual products, so that lessens the value for me. Totally worth it because of the City Color White Gold, though, and hopefully the replacement Urban Decay product will work better for me. There were other products this month that I would have preferred to receive instead of the exfoliant and hair product (Benefit Lollitint, Demeter fragrance), but at least I didn't receive some of the products I would have REALLY hated, like self-tanner or appallingly ginormous false eyelashes. So there's that?

If my less-than-glowing review this month has somehow left you dying to try Ipsy for yourself, please feel free to clicky-clicky on my referral link to sign up. Full disclosure: I get points if you use my link, which I can redeem for products, but I wouldn't suggest signing up if I didn't think it was worthwhile. As you can see, even in a disappointing month, there's something awesome that totally saves the overall experience... and for just $10, it's a cheap, fun little monthly treat to yourself.

March 2014 Ipsy Bag Review: "Destination Beauty"

Huzzah, it's already time for another Ipsy bag! (A refresher: Ipsy is a makeup sampling service that sends me a little makeup bag full of 4-5 cosmetics goodies each month.) This one's theme is "Destination Beauty," which somehow denotes a connection between cosmetics and traveling, so there ya go. I don't require a theme... just give me the pretties!

The bag...

This month's bag is interesting... the pattern is a detail of a larger piece by artist Klari Reis, which is an abstract map of the city of San Francisco. (Get it? "Destination Beauty" = map? Cute, Ipsy.) For me, the beauty of the piece was lost in translation due to the scale; a smaller scale incorporating more of the image would have been much more appealing, and could have made it more clear that it was a map and not just a random, vaguely amoeba-esque pattern. The vibrancy of the colors is also muted on the bag because of the plasticky material it's printed on, which is great for bag-cleaning purposes, but not so great for translating the crisp, bright hues. I still like the bag, though, and it's already living in my purse.

The goodies...

My bag contained:

• bareMinerals Marvelous Moxie Lipstick in "Get Ready" (mini, valued at $7.50): At first glance, this pink lipstick didn't appeal to me, but it's a very pretty "my lips but better" color when applied. Smooth creamy consistency, but the jury's still out on lasting power. I usually prefer glosses to lipsticks, but isn't trying new things what a sample service is for? And I actually really like getting these mini lip products, because I almost never finish full-sized items before they pass their "use-by" date, and they take up less space in my purse, so there's that.

•  Nicole by OPI Roughles nail polish in "On What Grounds?" (full-size item, valued at $8): As soon as I saw that I'd be getting this item, I made arrangements to trade it. This is a textured polish... and the swatches that I've seen online just weren't appealing to me. The color is a lovely robin's-egg sort of blue, but honestly, to me the gritty texture makes it look like blue sandpaper, and that's just not my jam. Plenty of people seem excited about this product, though, so it was easy for me to arrange a trade for an indigo Chella eyeliner that was one of the other options this month. I've really gotten into colored eyeliners lately, because they're great for adding a little vibrant color to my eyes without looking like I just stepped out of the 1980s or got punched in the eye.

• Be a Bombshell Eyeshadow Quad in "Bora Bora" (full-size item, valued at $16): Speaking of looking like I just stepped out of the '80s, there's this eyeshadow palette. Three of the four shades are more neutral, workable hues, but then there's that BAM teal! Not sure that quadrant of the palette is going to see a lot of use, and honestly, the other three are a little more shimmery than I like, but I'm going to experiment with them and see what I can pull off.

• Pixi Beauty Flawless Beauty Primer (deluxe sample, valued at $8.80): Like the eyeshadow quad, this primer is a little more shimmery than my usual selections, but I will probably end up using it when I run out of my current bottle. I think it may just need to wait its turn until warmer weather arrives... the shimmer may work a little better with bronzed summery makeup and a bit of a tan.

So the total value of my bag this month is $40.30. I don't really care about the dollar value of items or the brand names in my bag as long as I like the products; this time, I'm trading a cheaper item for a more expensive item, but I'd also happily do the reverse if I found a less expensive item more interesting than something else in my bag. I just kind of think it's interesting to keep track of the prices for informational purposes.

In other "newly-discovered makeup obsession" news, I also received a lovely little package from City Color Cosmetics, containing three "Be Matte" blushes. These blushes were options in the February Ipsy bag, but I did not receive one, and after seeing some good reviews, I couldn't pass up an order. I've found that a lot of blushes have more sparkle to them than I like, especially for work where I don't need to be looking like a glitter explosion, so I was excited to snap this matte trio up for the loooooooow price point of $2.99 apiece!

Enough blush for a stylish army...

 From L - R: "Fresh Melon," "Dragonfruit," and "Blood Orange." These pans are HUGE... I doubt I'll have to buy blush again for a long time. (I won't be keeping the Blood Orange, though, because it's just too bright for me.) The Dragonfruit is a really pretty pink shade that's not nearly as aggressively fuchsia as it looks in the pan. The Fresh Melon is a lovely change from the usual pinks, with a coral sort of hue that I find really natural and flattering. Both are highly pigmented and very easily buildable... I have to be careful to start small so I don't end up with clown cheeks! For the price, I'm very happy with the quality of these items.

Oh, and speaking of colored liners...

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I'M WATCHING YOU... with my snazzy green eyeliner, which is the only nod I'm making to green on this goofy beer-soaked holiday. A hearty "slainte" to you, dear (probably non-existent) reader... and may you be in heaven a half-hour before the devil knows you're dead!

February 2014 Ipsy Bag Review: "The Look of Love"

Because I find myself reading a lot of other Ipsy subscribers' reviews, I decided that I might as well try my hand at my own critiques. What is this "Ipsy" of which I speak, you might ask? Ipsy is a beauty subscription service, from which I get a monthly shipment of 4-5 deluxe-sample or full-size makeup, skincare, and haircare products. For only $10 a month (shipping included), this is a fun little surprise for me, and the value of the bags is always way more than $10 (as you'll discover below). It's a good way to expand my style horizons, since I've been doing my makeup pretty much exactly the same way since the Spice Girls were a thing. I don't love every product, but I've loved enough in each bag so far to make it totally worthwhile... plus, each shipment comes in cute makeup bags, which are proving to be great for organizing some of my little odds and ends. Off we go...

The goodies.

The theme of the February 2014 bag is "The Look of Love," which kind of makes me want to hurl as a single girl on V-Day, but whatevs. Pink it is! The bag is pretty plain on the outside, but the interior is a fun pink leopard print, so there's that.

The contents:

• 'Tini Beauty's Eyetini Cordial Cream Shadow + Base in One in "Violette" (full-size item, valued at $18): BOOM, this one item nearly doubles the cost of the bag! I typically fail at putting on regular eyeshadow, much less cream shadow, so this is going to require some experimentation, but the color is really soft and pretty.

•  Zoya's nail polish in "Odette" (full-size item, valued at $9): In the interest of transparency, I must confess that I originally received this polish in the pale pink color "Dot," which just didn't float my boat, so I traded with someone for the far-more-me "Odette," a beautiful neutral lavender sort of shade. I haven't gotten a chance to do a mani yet, because as a nurse, it's impossible to keep polish looking nice when you're using hand sanitizer 1,358,569 times a shift, but I'm planning a full "paws and claws" for my upcoming vacation in a few weeks.

• Skyn ICELAND's Fresh Start Mask with Ice Age Mud (sample packets, valued at $6.50): This item is currently socked away until I find myself in one of my "needs a spa day" moments, but all the reviews I've read have been glowing. I'm actually hoping I don't like it THAT much, though, because it's not cheap!

• J.Cat Beauty's false eyelashes in style no. EL15 (full-size product, obviously, valued at $3.99): Unless you count the ridiculously OTT feathers-and-glitter styles that I've occasionally slapped on for Halloween, I've only tried to wear falsies once before, and it didn't go well... they just seemed so unnatural-looking to me, and they're a pain to put on. I'm going to try again on my next special occasion, though, armed with the new-found knowledge that these will look much more natural if I snip them in half and only use them on the outer halves of each eye. We shall see!

•  Pop Beauty's Plump Pout Mini in "Fuchsia Freesia" (deluxe sample, valued at $8): more on this little item to come in a sec.

So, my February Ipsy bag added up to $45.49... none too shabby for my $10 investment! This was my second bag from Ipsy, and I've heartily approved of both so far, so I definitely foresee myself sticking around for a while. If Ipsy sounds interesting to you (assuming that anyone ever reads this), please use my referral link to go check out their website. (Full disclosure: if you do sign up using my referral link, I get some points that I can use towards products in the future... but I wouldn't recommend it if I didn't love it.)

However, this bag also brought with it a maelstrom of drama, all wrapped up in a tiny pink tube. When I opened my Pop Beauty lip gloss, I noticed an odd chemical sort of scent, but went ahead and tried it on my lips. Loved the color and the consistency of the gloss... but after a while, instead of dissipating, that scent evolved into an extremely potent gasoline/"burnt rubber" sort of stench. Into the trash with it! After reading a few other subscribers' reviews and seeing that I wasn't alone in this issue, I contacted Ipsy's customer service to let them know about the issue, and they swiftly sent me a replacement Pop Beauty gloss and also threw in a Buxom Full-On Lip Polish in "Dolly" for my trouble. Nice, right? However, the replacement Pop item smelled even worse than the first... epic fail. I contacted CS again to let them know that the replacement was also bad, and despite telling them that they didn't need to send me anything else in return, they sent me a mini Urban Decay Revolution Lipstick in the shade "Anarchy." While all this was happening, I also contacted Pop Beauty directly to ask about the odor, and they sent me a super-generic reply and a full-size replacement gloss. When it arrived... it smelled like delicious vanilla cupcakes! None of the funkus of either of the minis.

The replacements.

So... problem solved and everybody's happy, right? Negative, Ghost Rider! It turns out that some of the eagle-eyed Ipsy subscribers had taken photos of the mini gloss packaging before opening them, which included a list of ingredients that didn't match the ingredients in the full-size items. Additionally, it was determined that the minis were manufactured in Taiwan, while the full-size items are made in the good ol' US of A. (For the full play-by-play, check out Zadidoll's breakdown of the situation.) Pop Beauty is insisting that the minis are safe to use, despite the fact that they smell like a burning jetliner, so people are up in arms and some are even contacting the FDA and whatnot. I just trashed both of my minis and called it a day, but I definitely don't see myself purchasing anything from Pop Beauty in the future. (I am, however, wearing the full-size gloss as I type this... hate to see it go to waste!) And I'm not letting this put me off Ipsy, since the problem is with another company's product, not their service... I just feel sorry for their customer service agents who are having to do all this damage control!

In other news, this happened:

GOOOOOOOLD!